


Moments Under The Sky

by BlackwaterVial



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, First Kiss, Hugs, I rewatched the episode and I needed and outlet for my sadness, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-10-01 19:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20379946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackwaterVial/pseuds/BlackwaterVial
Summary: The sky changes, the feelings change, they change. Other things stay the same.





	Moments Under The Sky

There was no sky the first time they met. The dark stone ceiling overhead was lit only by the faint lights shining up from the city below. Footsteps echoed between the cramped walls of the crumbling buildings and desperate voices somewhere in the distance promised violence. 

Levi sat on the floor, his shoulders hunched over and his eyes turned upward at the man standing in front of him. The stagnant air that hung heavily over the dirt-paved streets seemed to be a direct antithesis to the blue and white wings stitched onto the cape of Levi’s captor. As he looked down on Levi, the tall man's expression was curious, verging on softness and lacking all traces of the contempt Levi would have expected to read in it. The man then crouched down, bringing him almost to eye-level with his captive. Levi thought he saw the other's arm jerk, as if he was about to reach out and touch Levi, maybe lay a hand on his shoulder, but the motion was so small that it might as well have been Levi's imagination. As Levi lifted his gaze, icy blue eyes that carried no hint of coldness bore into his own. Levi could feel the defiance on his face turn brittle, almost making room for admiration, just before he managed to gain control over his expression again. But the man before him gave him a faint smile, the corners of his mouth turning up ever so slightly and Levi promised to himself to never let his mask slip in front of the other man again, not even for a second. 

The man had later introduced himself as Erwin, and as much as Levi tried to connect the name to contempt and disdain, a small and unwanted part in the back of his mind whispered of _liberation_.

\- - -

The sky was nearly invisible the first time they touched. The darkness around them was almost tangible, a black so saturated it seemed to have swallowed up the stars and the moon that Levi had learned to love. The lights of the city had long disappeared behind high walls and the torches they carried illuminated only a small portion of the snow-covered trail the scouts were following to their next destination. The cold winter air crept through the seams of their clothes, chilling them to the bones. 

It was then that Levi felt a warm touch, a large hand splayed over the small of his back and Erwin’s low voice next to his ear, telling him to watch his step in the darkness. Levi wanted to answer, wanted to say that he needn’t be told the obvious, that he could look out for himself. But the hand slowly moved up his back and towards his shoulder, pulling him slightly to the left, and he could feel his arm brushing Erwin’s chest and his complaint died in his throat. The warmth radiating off of Erwin’s body seemed to subdue the freezing air around them and yet Levi shivered at the contact. He could feel Erwin’s breath against his hair as the other man looked down at him. Despite his better judgement and despite his efforts not to, Levi glanced upward, grey eyes meeting icy blue ones that reflected the heat of the torches around them. Their expression was unreadable, but Levi thought he might have caught a hint of surprise before he quickly averted his gaze again. 

Erwin’s hand remained on his back the whole way until they reached their destination, and Levi convinced himself that it was not the thing responsible for the warmth that spread through his body.

\- - -

The sky was colourless the first time they hugged. Grey clouds hung low over the fog-covered field and a harsh wind tore at their capes. The relentless rain was only barely able to hide the tears that ran down Levi’s cheeks. His empty gaze roamed the wide expanse in front of him, the muddy grass, the cracked trees, the dead bodies. The outside of the walls that had once promised endless possibilities now only spoke of finality. With his fallen companions lying at his feet and his overbearing guilt weighing on his shoulders, Levi was certain that he would never be able to feel hope again. There was nothing left for him in this world. His tears had long dried up and now only the rain left clear trails through the specks of blood on his face.

He felt something on his shoulder, something warm and reassuring, something that seemed to try and replace the guilt that had settled there. Slowly he focused his gaze on what was before him and was met with a pair of icy blue eyes that carried the warmth of a clear summer’s sky. Levi felt his own eyes well up with tears again, his carefully crafted mask slipping away entirely as Erwin regarded him with such an intense understanding that Levi couldn’t help but let out a small sob. Erwin didn’t say anything, he just pulled Levi in, wrapping his arms around his small form as if he was trying to shield Levi from the cruelty of the word, even if it was just for a moment. Levi pressed his face into Erwin’s chest, muffling his sobs against the other’s shirt. He could hear Erwin’s heartbeat, slow and reassuring and _alive_, and he let go of all composure he had managed to maintain. His legs gave in underneath him and Erwin’s arms wrapped tighter around his waist, holding Levi upright, refusing to give up on him. He could hear Erwin’s voice next to his hear, his tone low and calming, his words reassuring. 

It took Levi a few more minutes before he tentatively returned Erwin’s embrace. He couldn’t be too sure, but he thought that something akin to hope spread through his chest. 

\- - -

The sky was blue the first time they kissed. The buds on the trees threatened springtime and the sun peeking over the walls promised longer days. A faint breeze swept through the tall grass and rustled the leaves overhead as Erwin and Levi enjoyed the unsteady peace before their next expedition. Erwin stood tall and upright, his eyes fixed upon the far horizon as if he was trying to get a glimpse of their future. Levi was propped against a tree, trying to look somewhere that wasn’t Erwin, as he felt his eyes being drawn to the other’s face yet again. This time he was met with an icy blue gaze and Levi was struck by the overwhelming certainty that the sky overhead had nothing on those eyes. As Erwin’s lips curled up ever so slightly Levi found himself unable to look away. 

He didn’t even notice that Erwin stepped closer towards him until he could feel the other man’s breath against his cheek. He could feel the ghost of a touch as Erwin’s lips brushed his skin while his hand moved up to Levi's neck. For a second Levi wasn’t able to move, didn’t want to move ever again if that meant he would lose what he had right now, and then Erwin pulled back ever so slightly and Levi could feel all his senses come rushing back, could feel his feet moving forward, bringing him closer to Erwin again. His fingers tangled in Erwin’s hair and he pulled him down to his level, caught a last glimpse of those warm blue eyes before he pressed his lips to Erwin’s. For a moment the two of them stood as still as the world around the seemed to have become. Maybe, Levi thought, maybe Erwin was just as terrified as him, that if they moved they would somehow destroy this single moment in time. But then Erwin stepped closer, his body flush against Levi’s as if the contact between their lips was not enough, as if he needed more reassurance that the other was right there with him. 

As Erwin’s arms circled around Levi’s form, trapping him in a tight embrace, Levi thought that freedom had never felt better. 

\- - -

The sky was a warm yellow the last time they said Goodbye. The sun hung low and soft clouds drifted overhead, casting shadows over the crumbling buildings. It was quiet, as if even the birds had decided to grant the two men a final moment of peace.

Levi raised his hand slowly, the syringe trembling in his fingers as he moved it towards Erwin’s arm. He knew that what he was about to do was cruel beyond belief. He knew that he would have to live with his decision and the guilt it brought with it for the rest of his life. He knew that he could not stop himself. He didn’t have to. A warm hand closed around his wrist. Levi looked down into icy blue eyes that shone just as brightly as the first time they met. The edges of Erwin’s mouth curled up ever so slightly. His hand moved from Levi’s wrist up to his cheek, where his thumb caught a stray tear. 

“It’s okay, Levi”, he said. “You don’t need to carry this burden. Let this decision be mine. It’s okay.”

His gaze turned soft and his lips moved again, though no more sound escaped them.

Levi knew what he had wanted to say. He didn’t need to hear it. Those icy blue eyes had carried more meaning that words ever could have ever hoped to.


End file.
